Dad Cutting Son Out of Inheritance Over ‘Disrespectful’ Behavior Backed

A man is preparing to have his son written out of his will after a family argument spilled over into bitter recriminations on both sides.

In a Reddit post shared under the handle u/HedgehogAcceptable84, the elderly dad explained the circumstances that led him and his wife to become estranged from their adult son.

Estrangement is a painfully familiar issue for families throughout America. A 2022 YouGov poll of 11,039 U.S. adults found that more than one in four were estranged from a sibling, parent, child, or grandparent.

Yet, in the case of the estrangement detailed in this particular Reddit post, many felt the situation could have been avoided entirely had the son not been “disrespectful” during an extended stay with his parents.

“Before living together we had a good relationship, the problem came when his wife wouldn’t follow the home rules,” the dad explained.

“They are pretty simple like clean up after yourself, don’t be loud at night and the big one was no drinking in the home. No alcohol in the home. We made this really clear and my son knows his mother has trauma related to alcohol.”

Though the first month or so was fine, things “turned for the worse” when the cold weather kicked in and they began to suspect their son and his wife were drinking.

“It came to head when cleaning,” he said. “My wife found wine in the attic.” They threw the wine away, sparking an argument with their daughter-in-law that made their final few weeks together in the house “tense.”

A few weeks later, after they had moved out, the son severed ties with his parents. “My son met up with me and told us we can’t see our grandkids anymore,” the dad said. “That the incident made him rethink our relationship.”

The dad rejected this version of events though, telling his son that he “knew the one big rule in the home” and that their actions had “caused stress to his mother.”

“He told me it was final and I told him if he goes through with this he will be out of the will,” he wrote.

Carole Cox, a licensed marriage and family therapist with Thriveworks, a nationwide provider of in-person and online therapy services, told Newsweek: “This is a situation where boundaries have been disregarded and rules not adhered to, for both parties, and the extreme nature of the threats to one another indicates that there has been a history of poor boundaries and lack of respect for one another.”

“The actions of both sides—banning visits to the grandchildren and cutting the adult son out of the will—have the intention of wanting to hurt in a manner that will cause the most pain and create some finality,” she said. “There urgently needs to be repair work done to restore or rebuild harmony and trust in this family system.”

Cox felt that although the parents’ rule on alcohol was a boundary that “should have been respected,” the subsequent back-and-forth threats of denying access to grandkids and inheritance were both hurtful. She called on all parties involved to come together for a meeting and enlist an objective party to mediate.

Others on Reddit, by contrast, came out firmly in support of the parents.

“We have a no alcohol house because my step daughter has an alcoholic mother and is working through her trauma,” one wrote. “If I found an open bottle in my home I’d be absolutely furious.”

A second commented: “It’s flabbergasting how many adults who drink can’t simply respect sobriety.” With a third adding: “It’s a selfish and disrespectful act to somebody that is putting themselves out for you.”

Newsweek reached out to u/HedgeHogAcceptable47 for comment. We could not verify the details of the situation.

If you have a similar dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.

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This story was originally published December 9, 2023, 2:00 PM.

source: star-telegram

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