May 26, 2024

At the turn of every new year, the slogan “new year, new me” gets used in overdrive. For many, a full personal overhaul on January 1 also means recalibrating their dating life.

With an estimated 440 million people expected to seek romance online by 2027, people who are tired of navigating beige flags and situationships, and keen to find themselves “cuffed” by a serious relationship, will be turning to online dating platforms for a helping hand.

But, as those experienced in finding love online know all too well, it can be rough out there. Ghosting, orbiting and breadcrumbing, terms which have become part of Gen Z’s dialect, all spring to mind when picturing the modern minefield of dating.

So how can you sift through the masses to find the right one for you? Newsweek contacted three dating coaches to gather what three things they think can help you spot a good profile-and potential good match.

What Are Their Photos Like?

It’s no surprise that images make up a major part in the dating profiles that stand out.

Persia Lawson, a dating coach based in London, knows exactly what to look for in search of a “healthy” dating profile that’s brimming with “green flags”.

The three-time published author told Newsweek that users should look for clear and recent photos that haven’t been heavily filtered or edited, preferably ones where the potential suitor is smiling, which she argues can be indicative of an authentic and approachable personality.

“A well-written bio also provides insights into the person’s interests, values, and personality. It shows effort and indicates a willingness to share about themselves,” she added.

Alison Wellington, based in New York, holds a similar outlook to Lawson. The certified coach, who holds a masters degree in mental health counseling, said online dating can give a “false sense of choice” but agrees photos can be the strongest yet simplest way to spot a “healthy” potential partner.

She claims a good profile is one that is fully filled out with a mixture of images, and emphasizes the importance of smiles and warmth coming across in their photos.

How Do They Communicate?

Lawson guides her clients to take how someone communicates online into careful consideration. After all, the way that people express themselves on their online profile and over messages can shed some light on how they communicate in real life.

“Clear and respectful communication is essential for a healthy and fulfilling relationship, and this is the footing you ideally want to start off from,” Lawson said.

Lawson went on to say that this can be observed in the way that they describe their relationship with family, friends, and colleagues. She adds that if they start berating their ex-partner, you can take this as your cue to move on.

Wellington adds that people should keep note of whether matches are responding to messages in a warm or timely manner, and if they’re making an effort to transition communications from the app to an actual date.

How Positive Are They?

Lawson claims that indications of negativity, bitterness, or excessive cynicism in a profile could be a sign of unresolved emotional turmoil. She also advises users to be wary of profiles that contain language and references that are off-putting.

“Seek out profiles that convey a positive outlook on life. People who approach life with optimism and gratitude inevitably bring a healthy perspective to relationships. Look for indications of empathy, kindness, and respect towards others,” she added.

Tripp Kramer, a coach in Chicago who holds a predominantly male clientele, backs both Lawson and Wellington in their view that dating apps in general can lead to cognitive overload and indecisiveness.

But for him, a tell-tale sign to hone in on for identifying a “healthy” profile is one that makes mention of a love of learning or “something growth-oriented”.

“If they’re looking for something positive in their life, that’s great, you should ideally look for someone who knows what they want,” Kramer told Newsweek.

The coach added that users should “stay away from someone who makes clear they party all the time.”

So, now you’re equipped with a checklist to help find your perfect partner online in 2024. Good luck!

Have you noticed any red flags that made you end a relationship? Let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.

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This story was originally published December 30, 2023, 8:00 AM.

source: star-telegram

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